Who do I have to be in order to have what I want, who do I have to be in order to fulfill my destiny and to create the life of my dreams?
Every single day I’m learning something, every single day I grow. If you do that work sooner or later, you’re going to begin to step into the life that you’ve always desired to live. I’m going to become the best version of myself. And guess what? The practice, the work, it never stops because we’re never going to attain that place; we’re always going to be in the process of growing and becoming better. If you do those things, listen, it’s not magic. It’s not going to happen instantly. There’s no easy button here. You can have it all.
A Question, I get all the time and man: How do I break free from that limiting belief? How do I break that cycle? Through my experience of coaching people one-on-one, breaking free can take months (or with the right coach, a month and a half) to go through the process.
If you’re committed and you’re willing to do some work, if you don’t change your thinking about your life, things are not going to change. A belief is a feeling of certainty about something. A lot of what I’m sharing with you today are tools that I’ve learned from Tony Robbins, who’s been a mentor for several years, I have been just devouring his content and attending events. So he’s given me some great tools, and the whole idea of a limiting belief, you know what that is: I want to be wealthy, but I have all these crappy thoughts about money… or every time I get it, it goes away. You know and I know all about limiting beliefs because we’ve all lived it. That feeling like there’s this resistance and you’re almost fighting yourself. Some of you got some limiting beliefs around relationships and you keep saying stupid things like, Oh, all the good ones are gone or I just always end up with the bad boys or nobody is trustworthy.Oh my goodness. These beliefs are horrible.
We’ve all got beliefs. We’ve got them about business, about relationships, about marriage, about success, about our health and about everything. You’ve got beliefs. I got beliefs. Now here’s the thing; certain beliefs in your life are holding you back more than others: Limiting beliefs. We’ve all got them in every area of our lives, what you need to do is to figure out which ones are holding you back. That’s the kind of belief you’re looking for.
It’s one, that’s kind of a big one. I mean, you’re not looking for a belief that chicken tortilla soup is gross. Like you might have that belief, but that is not really holding you back in your life. We want to look for the big ones. So figure out the area that you want to target. I’m going to give you three steps, because if you’re really committed and if you’re really hungry and if you’ve created internally some suffering in your life because of the things that you believe, that are holding you back.
The quickest way to change is to face reality. As long as something is denied, it cannot be healed. So that’s your first step. I’ve had people say, I don’t really have any limiting beliefs. Come on now, we’ve all got them. Three steps to change your story, change your life. To break free from those limiting beliefs. Step number one, identify the limiting belief or beliefs that are holding you back. When I do this work with people, I have them identify three beliefs. In order to do this, begin brainstorming; what are the things I’m believing about different areas of my life? And so if you need some starters, you could look at relationships. You could look at your identity. You’re going to have at least one that focuses on your identity because everything comes back to what you believe about who you are, about your own worth and identity, about business, about money.
And the other ones could be anything. Relationships, marriage, health, some of you need to get your health in line. You’ve gone back and fallen back into some habits during difficult times in our world, but you have limiting beliefs that are holding you back from moving forward… I can’t eat healthy. Eating healthy is horrible. Getting healthy is hard. Losing weight is hard. These are beliefs that are not serving you well.
So step one, just journal it, brainstorm it. If you don’t like to journal, you can do it in audible. There’s a great app called Otter that can help you if you thrive in the verbal. You just verbally talk and it will transcribe what you record. You got to brainstorm, write, say it, journal it, brainstorm, write, and just journal it out. Doesn’t have to take a long time, set a timer for 10 minutes. The pressure of the clock pushes you to really question, what is it? What is it? And just in 10, 15 minutes, we can brainstorm and really get a list.
Next, you should go through that list and circle the ones, maybe the top three to five that are the big beliefs that are holding you back. When you’re going through that list circling, you’re going to see themes and you’re going to be able to like group things together. Again, this is a deeper process. I’m just trying to give you some handles because if you do this and you fully commit and you identify that belief and you get it locked into a concise, succinct statement of, I believe those beliefs can change. Beliefs like I don’t have the ability to make wealth. I believe that I’m not worthy. That I’m not enough, that I’m not smart enough or good enough or experienced enough. If you can get it down to one succinct statement that is going to give you power because now you’ve helped lead up to the lie, that statement, which is a belief that is dominating your life.
You strip it of its power because it’s a lie. Step number two, you need to get leverage. And the way you get leverage is you need to go through a process and say, Okay, if I hang onto this belief, what will be the consequences in my life to me and to everybody else? And I’m going to say this quickly, but this is the meat; this is really important. Go through the process and say, Okay, if I hold onto this belief, what has helped? What has harmed me in the past because of this belief, what are the negative consequences that have already happened in the past? What are the negative consequences that are happening right now in my life? Because of this stupid, like idiotic belief: how has it hurt me? What has happened right now? And then say, what is going to happen in the future; if I hold onto this belief for one year, five years, ten years, twenty years into the future? And here’s the key: the worst case scenario consequences are what you need to imagine because we’re getting leveraged.
Because when you get leverage, then you have the power to change. We tend to change to more, to avoid pain than we do to achieve pleasure. And so I want you to find the pain because of this limiting belief that has held you back. Do the writing and feel it.
I want you to feel the emotions of it, I want you to take some deep breaths, imagine and visualize, what would you say yourself 20 years down the road? If you held onto this belief, what would you say to yourself? Would you say you’re a loser? You’re a failure? That’s the level that you got to feel this pain. This is like a crash course and shifting limiting beliefs.
Step three is define your new truth. If this limiting belief was holding you back, you got leverage. You don’t everwant to live life like that. What the heck is the truth? The truth is the best way to do this, just to get in a flow and just begin to speak it out and say, well, the truth is this… this was a belief, but that’s, that’s not the truth that’s literally going to hold me back for the rest of my life. It’ll destroy my life. That will hurt the people I love. It will rob me of my destiny. The truth is… and just begin to say the truth is, the truth is and say it, until you find something that feels right, that you say it. Now, I want that in my life. I want that truth to dominate me. I want that truth to lead my life forward. Now you can take that truth and you can put it into your daily affirmations.
So you’ve got to keep it at the top of your mind. There’s a whole lot more to it. But if you’re wondering if you’ve never had anybody teach you on how to break free from a limiting belief:
If you do those three things, you need support. There’s more to it, but you could literally take back your power today by doing that kind of work. And then you can begin to live into that new truth.
Now, we should go out there and give our greatness to the world because somebody needs what’s on the inside of you. Go out there and give it away. Don’t underestimate the goodness, the power, the beauty that is on the inside, the value that you have to add to someone else don’t underestimate it. You got to go out there and give it away.