Who is ready to get a little bit better? If so, Say YES!! I am riding the wave of some amazing coaching calls today. I started my day with the community call for our transformation community and this month we have been focusing on the power of proximity. And it led me to frame up a question because I know if I want to get where I want to get, to accomplish, to achieve, to impact, to create influence… the quickest path is? The answer is extremely simple and clear.
Proximity. Proximity is power.
My framework that I coach from, literally I’ve seen hundreds of lives deeply transformed in lasting ways using the five framework.
Number three, is I Pursue Proximity and Invite Accountability. Now I am only going to talk about the first part of this decision, even though you really need both. On the call this morning, there was some honesty from one of the guys and he said I hate accountability. Now this is a guy that has been in coaching for two and a half years, EVEN though he doesn’t like accountability… He keeps putting himself in an environment BECAUSE he knows that without it he goes backwards. He doesn’t run from accountability, he says he is going to embrace accountability… his life continues to elevate.
So what is the quickest path to elevate your life, your business, your marriage, your health, your spiritual life, or any other area? The quickest path to elevate your life is getting around the right people; your life will be the direct reflection of the expectation of your peer group. More simply said, who you surround yourself with, your life will inevitably begin to reflect their standards.
High. Standards. You want to rise and elevate up to their level. We see a lot of people sleepwalking through life and wondering why they aren’t getting the promotion, why they are not getting fit, why they are not in the relationship they desire???? Oftentimes the answer is looking around at who you are surrounding yourself with. You can’t get beat around those jokers, none of them are better than you BUT get around some new people, create some new relationships.
Some practical points I want to give you on how to elevate your life, this can be a big and overwhelming topic; like proximity is power. What do you do with that? How do you implement that truth or principle in your life? I am going to give you three ways and I will break each of those down bit by bit to maximize this principle of proximity in your life.
This one is the obvious BUT you have to get around the right people. There’s a lot of different ways to talk about this and I really like the visual that there are people I am reaching down to that I am trying to pull them up, right? There’s going to be people in my life that I’m reaching out to. These are my people, my peers. And then there are those that I am reaching up to like, come on, pull me up. I need some people in my life that are where I have not been yet. They’re going to pull me up to their level.
Another way to say it; there are people that you’re going to serve. You need some peers who are going to be friends and you need some mentors to learn from. You need some people that you are going to serve, that you are going to be there and they are going to be there when you need them. They’re going to become friends that are trustworthy, loyal and faithful.
A lot of you got some proximity around some peers that have not become friends who are loyal and faithful, who will call you out on your crap excuses and your stupid decisions and you need to get some of those friends. I’m not going to go through it here but I have got an exercise to evaluate the kind of peers that you have in your life. Take some time to journal and ask yourself, who are the friends in my life? And try to categorize those: are they here for me, am I there for them? And to be honest, this is facing reality. If I were honest, I realize that I need to nurture some friendships where I cannot just give but also receive. Cause when you’re an extrovert, there’s a lot of people who would say they’re your best friend but there’s not as many that I would say are my best friend, right?
And then there are people that you’re going to reach up to that you are going to learn from. And they are going to reach down to bring you up to their level because we don’t know what we don’t know. And so we need some people around us who we can become better just by being around them. And to get that you are going to need a whole lot of intentionality.
Get around the right people and maximize those relationships. Be aware of the different levels and the different ways of relating in those relationships. When you start to look at that, then you start to see your gaps. You might see that you are always reaching down, always serving, always giving. Or maybe you look at your list and you have got a lot of people here, but not there. And you can start to locate where you are at.
These last two categories, people don’t think about these quite as much in terms of proximity very often. This might bring in some more “aha’s”. Number one is people and number two is where you get exposure. This is the short term easy access. These things don’t have to take money, you don’t need to buy a ticket. Find a nice restaurant in town, or a hotel, coffee shop, whatever and go and hang out in the lobby. Go to an expensive neighborhood, go to the car dealership… get around the right environments.
This is exposure to get in different environments, it will expand your thinking. Another example of this would be, I didn’t pay anything to go to the networking event BUT I put myself in that environment and I got some exposure to some higher level business people. And that means exposure can just sometimes be the quick fix, low money or no money to get in the right circles.
Not experiences might have a little more buy in. My son and I just had an experience. We went and saw an NBA Playoffs game. We got some nice tickets, no nose bleeds for us. We were in the private access area and it was an experience. These kinds of experiences could be like flying first class to wherever you are going. Or maybe it is your accommodations when you get there like staying at a Ritz Carlton.
BUT listen, you might be thinking, Oh Mark is just about the money, money, money… he is just greedy. He wants to be rich. He wants to have more money than anyone else… Don’t be manipulating my words, here. If you have been following me, YOU know better than that. It is not all about money BUT your only limitation to creating your best life is what is in your head; your dreams, your best life, the life that you really want is in your mind. So when you get exposure and experiences that expand your thinking, you become a better version of you.
Sometimes that exposure might have nothing to do with abundance even though currently I am focusing on that. It might be getting around people who are willing to be vulnerable, who are willing to do the deep work, who are willing to deal with the things that change your life.
I just got off a call with a friend of mine, we do a call every week to keep each other sharp. We make each other better. And she has put herself in some environments she didn’t want to put herself in BUT she knew she needed to… and that exposure and experience that she leveled up AND It Is Making Her A Better Person and enabling her to serve her people at a higher level.
Some experiences, you have to invest a little but when you go swim with dolphins, or stay on an island for a month… that’s fun. That is an experience that will add up, but I know personally that is an experience my kids and family are never going to forget.
Relationship Building Environments
Put yourself in environments that are focused on building relationships and long term stuff. I’m honored to lead this transformation community and all the people that are in my masterminds, dozens and dozens of people that are in these environments that I have created. And they are not just here for some information or a quick fix. They’re here to build relationships.
And there are all kinds of different environments; you might be in a BNI network or might be in a coaching group (like you could join the transformation community). Get around some people that are going to elevate your life; they’re going to be people who pull you up, there are going to be people to serve and people to reach out to… you are going to have friends that you’ve never had before because you put yourself in an environment not just to create an experience but to build relationships. Don’t overlook the power of building long-term relationships to get where you want to go.
It might surprise you that this is about proximity but in some ways it is. Put yourself in proximity to the right education, the right resources that enable you to elevate your life.
Some of this isn’t going to cost a penny like a podcast, youtube channels, following people on social media. BUT make sure your social media feeds are curated, because there is some negativity out there just cluttering up your feed. I curate my feed so that there are awesome people, positive energy, growth mindset, challenging material BECAUSE I don’t have time for all that negativity and I know that education is proximity.
Education & Events
I know some of you are still getting back out into the world but live events are a thing now. Virtual is cool and we all came to live in the power of the virtual. Ironically before the pandemic, I was already virtual. My community didn’t miss a beat because we were already connecting over video calls. BUT the power of in-person live events is UNMATCHED. I don’t care if it is a private mastermind meet-up.
I am getting ready to host one in a couple of months, so we are going to have 20-30 people private invitation only. It is going to WOW. It is going to be powerful. It is going to be transformative. It is going to have lasting sustainable change. Deep relationships are going to be built. All of these things are going to come together in one event (ever interested in our events schedule, contact my lead events coordinator at email@example.com). We have more on the docket after this one. Can you tell I am excited? So, go to events.
My first live event for personal development I went to was with a guy named Bo Eason who had an event that was the Personal Story Power Event. It was some weird long event name that has since changed. It freaking changed my life. Some of the things I’m still walking in and the relationships I made, I was actually just talking with a guy I met at that event.
Long-term relationships, growth transformation, Tony Robbins events have all changed my life. Some of the people I love the most in my life including my wife have met some of our closest friends at Tony Events. And it has changed our lives. Probably over 50% of my clients I’ve connected with at live events.
Do not diminish the power of getting in person. And some of you, I know that is a stretch, that is getting out of your comfort zone. Do it anyway because it is the quickest way to elevate your life. Get into educational growth environments that are going to take you to another level. You want to elevate your life to the quickest path? What is it? Proximity. Proximity is power. You got to get around the right people. Do not underestimate, do not get lazy. Do not sleepwalk through life.
April Garcia says, You’ve got to design your peer group, You’ve got to get intentional about it. If you have not been intentional, it’s time to level up that peer group. Begin to create, manifest, pursue, be intentional about getting in the right proximity.
Which one of these do you need to do? Do you need to pursue the right people? Do you need to get into some new environments? Do you need to get yourself to the education and growth environments or resources? Which one of these do you need to do and make a commitment to yourself so that you can elevate your life?
I love you, people! Go out there and give your greatness to the world because somebody needs what is on the inside of you!! Go out there and give it away!