Why Don’t I Have the Life I WANT?

Let me tell you about life right now, I am at a higher level… I just got back from a few days off hanging out with the one and only Tony Robbins! I know many of you have heard of him and are thinking, he is just a motivational guru… he’s a businessman and seriously makes over 8 billion in revenue with over 50 different businesses. And he is an expert in creating transformation in people’s lives and helping them unlock their greatness. And it was amazing that before I get started going into this blog, I want to say when we get around the right people and the right environments that can stir you, inspire you, equip you, and empower you, WHICH IS SOOOO IMPORTANT. This was the seventh Tony event I’ve been to and I came back with pages and pages of notes and a ton of breakthroughs! So get yourselves into the right places with the right people, get in some immersive environments that make you better and challenge you to go further, higher, faster!

So BACK to today’s question: Why Don’t I Have the Life that I Want?

What? Why aren’t I where I thought I should be, where I thought I would be? Why haven’t I reached this, yet? Why? Not everyone feels that way, but a lot of people I know have thought… I’d be a lot farther than I am now. I thought my life would look different than it does. And it all comes down to this…

WHY DON’T I HAVE THE LIFE I WANT? We’re frustrated, we feel powerless to change, we feel like stuff has happened beyond our control or things just aren’t working and we have a lot of anger because we are not getting what we want.

I’m actually going to share something with you that I heard Tony share at the event. He covered three skills that everyone needs to have and they revolve around one simple thing… the patterns of your life. Here are three skills that we all need to have to create success and the life that you want…

Pattern Recognition.

We have all sorts of patterns; emotional patterns, health patterns (or lack thereof), relationship patterns, business patterns, seasonal patterns. Some of you have patterns that every time you go on vacation, you freak out the week before and because it is a pattern, you keep repeating it. We all have patterns inside of us. There are negative patterns and positive patterns.

Your life will reflect the dominant emotional patterns of your life. The quality of your life will rise and fall based on the dominant emotional patterns of your life. When you are happy, joyous and grateful, what do you think your life is going to reflect? If those are your dominant emotional patterns, then life will be pretty good. But if you live in anger, jealousy, or play the victim, your life is going to reflect a very different quality of life.

Recognizing patterns is a skill we all can get better at. Some of us right now, you might not call it patterns, but you know. Let’s get real, here, for a moment. Maybe you keep getting into a fight with your spouse, there is a pattern involved there that is not serving you. But first let’s pick on the gentleman for a moment. Sometimes there is a pattern that we think things and we miss the point where we filter it and we decide to say it to our wives because in our head we think it, so we speak it even though that red light is going off in our heads saying, I SHOULDN’T SAY THIS… that pattern isn’t serving you or your relationship. BUT what if you had a different pattern, where it might feel awkward but you paused and thought through what you might want to say. And instead when that red light goes off in your head, you don’t say it, you take a moment to walk away. Maybe take a bathroom break. Like, I don’t know but find a new pattern because this is not serving you! And in those moments choose to be grateful for your spouse and see things through their eyes. I know it sounds crazy, but it is possible.

And ladies, I didn’t forget about you. You want to know the one pattern that all of you do… you telling us how to drive. I love you but could you please stop telling us how to drive. It is a pattern that is not serving any of you. It causes your husbands to feel controlled and criticized every time you step into the car. Instead, try a new pattern. Just tell him how good he drives and oh, my gosh… he will end up passing out while he is driving.

I know these are a couple of silly examples of patterns guys but seriously if you can recognize the patterns, you can shift anything in your life. There is nothing that you cannot shift!

Pattern Utilization.

Use those patterns for your benefit. There’s one thing to be able to recognize and see a pattern, but it is another thing to see that pattern and use it for your benefit. A couple of ways this can be used:

See other people and their patterns and you can say, I want to look like that person… I want to be as fit as that person, I want to be as happy as that person. I want to be as spiritual as that person… you know what I am talking about. And then you observe their patterns they have in their lives that you are admiring.
You can model your own success. Like if you are watching one of my videos, I know you’re already crushing it. You’re a rock star. You’re not sitting on a couch eating potato chips all day, every day… YOU HAVE MOTIVATION! And some of you desire to become the best version of you. I know that you have a successful area in your life, probably more than one… look at that area and then just take a minute and reflect on what makes you successful in that area. How do you get those results consistently, the desired outcomes… How are you doing it? Maybe it is in the area of health, fitness, spiritually, business, relationships, or something else. But let’s say you are excelling in the area of your health and you have gone to a gym, found a community, paid for a membership, have an accountability buddy, or attended a regular workout session. See the things you are doing. Accountability. Investment. Community. Scheduled. Then apply that to another area in your life; business for example. If I want to grow my business, I could invest in a coach, schedule time, join a mentoring group or mastermind, have an accountability buddy and start to create the best version of life. It is transferable and you can model your own success.

Pattern Creation.

You are a creator. I am a creator. You are created in the image of God and God created you to create. You can create patterns so you’re going to recognize them and you are going to utilize ones that you already see but there’s going to be some outcomes that you desire to get that maybe you don’t have someone to model around you. Maybe you haven’t done anything yet that lines up with these outcomes you desire… and you just need to create a new pattern. And there;s going to be patterns you create that nobody else has.

Some of you want to have an awesome marriage and your definition of an awesome marriage is different from someone else’s definition. For some of you going on an adventure once a month is part of the definition, like trying something new like skydiving together. So create that pattern within your relationship. Or cook dinners together once a week. NAKED. Just wanted to see if you were still awake. You can create patterns and crush goals.

I love what Tony says all the time, YOU ARE NOT A MANAGER OF YOUR CIRCUMSTANCE, YOU’RE A CREATOR OF YOU LIFE AND YOUR LIFE WILL BE A DIRECT REFLECTION OF THE DOMINANT PATTERNS IN YOUR LIFE. Whether that’s emotionally, relationally, financially… your life is going to reflect the dominant pattern.

So why don’t you have the life you want? It’s because you have some patterns that are not serving you in your life. You can have patterns that serve and patterns that don’t serve. So if you align the patterns of your life with the destiny of your life, guess who is going to have the life you desire. YOU! Yes, you are… so take some time to reflect and look at your life. What are the patterns? Recognize them in your life. What are the patterns you could utilize more to your benefit in life? And then are they aligned with your destiny and what are some patterns you need to create. YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CREATE. Set intent to create.

I hope this helped you and served you! You all are freaking amazing! I love you all… this is where we get off here and go out there and give our greatness to the world, because somebody needs what is on the inside of you and me! So go out there and give it away!!