There’s been a running theme with several of my Elite Clients this week (as a coach you begin to notice these things), they have been asking is it wrong that I always want more?
Should I not feel that way? And here’s how I would answer that: it depends. On the one hand you could be in this place where you are settling with your life. I will straight up tell you, settling is one of the worst things you can do in your life. As several of my mentors often say, “If you are not growing… YOU’RE DYING!” When we choose to settle to live in less than our full potential, being happy with just what we have… we are in a way choosing “dying.” You might say something like: I’m not qualified, that’s for other people, I’ll be happy with what I have, I want more BUT I’m never going to get more, it never works out for me.
If any of this resonates with you and you feel like you want more, let me address this really quickly. There is a Bob Newhart and “stop it” on youtube that I use as a mantra for my life because some many times people were doing stupid stuff like settling for less. WE WERE CREATED FOR GREATNESS! There’s a destiny and a purpose on the inside of you… Don’t settle. Don’t live less than your potential. If you are doing that, STOP IT.
On the other hand, you are doing the work, getting the wins, making the progress, experiencing success at a level that you never have before. And you’re doing these things but you still have this perpetual low grade sense of satisfaction… you might even say you’re experiencing dissatisfaction. Maybe it is because you are always thinking about it, maybe there’s this need to go harder and bigger with life, there’s more…. and if you are there, Stop It. I’m speaking from experience, I’ve been in a place where I’ve made progress but I didn’t feel the satisfaction and that’s not a healthy place to live. I know many of you can relate to this. I thought I’d take a little more time on this with two big things that I feel like are the solution to that dissatisfaction, the constant drive for more and more.
KNOW YOUR WORTH
And I’m not talking about how much money you’ve got in your pocket, I am talking about knowing your true worth.
Your worth is not dependent upon what you produce.
Your worth is not dependent upon your net worth.
Your worth is not dependent upon what other people think about you!
Your worth is not dependent upon you hitting every goal that you set.
YOU NEED TO DO THE DEEP WORK TO KNOW YOUR WORTH.
You cannot get hung up thinking your worth is in what you produce, how much money you make or anything else like that because you are never going to be happy. You are always going to want more because you’re finding your sense of significance by producing, doing, and hitting that higher level. And if you are always going, going there’s no peace on the inside… YOU WILL NEVER BE FREE from that dissatisfaction. It’s never going to stop.
Do you want to know how to get free from that? The solution is to find your value, know your worth. I know my worth because Jesus is my savior. I’m a Christian. I find my worth in being a Child of God, some of you might frame things a little bit differently, but if you believe there is a higher power, that there’s a God in Heaven that loves you; love WINS. And if you can find worth in knowing that you are enough because you’re His, you know you are loved.
And with that love comes the knowledge that you don’t have to produce, don’t count your money as your worth, you know that you are loved enough. Know your worth.
LIVE WITH GRATITUDE
It’s not complicated, this is big… You have totally heard this before but this is how you get away from that low grade satisfaction. And I am sure you are ready to check out of the rest of this blog. You’ve heard this before, but have you tried living it? Because if we live with a grateful heart it is really hard to be dissatisfied with what we have. Because if every day you are looking for things you can celebrate, then mostly likely every day your heart is overflowing with gratitude. It is the most powerful cure for that dissatisfaction.
3 Ways to Live with Gratitude
- Celebrate the Wins!
I know what you all are thinking… if you have ever read my stuff before, I am sure you have heard me talk about celebrating the wins. But it is key and I am grateful to be a broken record because if I keep saying the same things over and over again you will see the compound effect come to life. You will eventually be able to take those skills, habits, mindsets to create the life of joy, fulfillment and impact that you are destined for. So how do you do that?
There’s a guy, maybe his name is Johnny but you can find him on social media or Youtube, just type in “winning streak” and “Johnny.” You should be able to find it, but he has this great video that shows how to go through a day with gratitude. He first finds a penny, then has his $4 Starbucks cup of joy, someone smiles at him… and it goes on showing how you can live in a perpetual state of wins celebrating the good things that happen.
So celebrate the good things that have happened, some things you have created and some you didn’t. It is all progress, right? I had a recent celebration! A friend and I wrote a book and it just became a number one Amazon bestseller. Right now I am trying to slow down and take that in. I took my wife out to dinner the other night as part of the celebration and we took a trip to celebrate the wins. And that relates to the second one… to know when to celebrate, you have to…
- Measure Your Progress
Some of you get caught up in where you are not yet thinking about the more out there. And YOU FORGET TO STOP AND LOOK AT HOW FAR YOU’VE ALREADY COME! And that is why you have got to measure your progress so that you can physically see the growth. Some of you like metrics, KPIs, and some of you it is as simple as picking up a journal and writing down, then being able to go back in a month or a year and SEE how far you have come.
I see the things I was praying for back then, they are the norm of my life now. You’ve got to measure progress in a concrete way so that you can say where you were.
Now YOU’RE Here!
I was there! Now I’m Here.
I used to STRUGGLE with that… and I don’t anymore.
My Marriage was in this place… now it is in a better place.
To celebrate the wins, you have to know where you have been. Like I’m all about celebrating the wins everywhere. They show up every single day. But I also want to measure concrete progress and the important areas, the essential areas of my life so that I can celebrate the wins a little bit bigger.
- Serve People Who are a Few Steps Behind You
You should always have 3 kinds of relationships in your life, those that are mentoring you, those we are reaching out to: peers, and those we are reaching down to. Those that we are reaching down to pull them up and to serve them. Proximity is power and sometimes you’re the proximity that someone else needs to pull them up.
They wish to learn from you, desire the level of progress and success that you have, desire to have communication in their marriage like that, a business like that, a car like that… you need to be around to inspire people who want to be where you are at. And it reminds you of the gratitude that you should have. Like, they look at you and they are grateful for the example. And they are pursuing that, but you forget how to be grateful because it just became normal to you.
And when you get around, people are a few steps behind you… You remember where you’ve been and it fills your heart with gratitude!
Some of you this week, you just need to serve somebody who is a few steps behind you to remind you of what you felt like when you were there. Get free from that dissatisfaction.
Hey, I’m all about pursuing more. God is so good and life is so good so love being in the present. Find the place where pursuing more is the balance between knowing your worth and living with gratitude because that is where we are going to find our God-given potential.
You should go out there right now and give your greatness to the world because somebody needs what is on the inside of you. Don’t hold back! Don’t underestimate yourself. Know your worth and live with gratitude. You’re awesome and I love you guys! Have a great week!!