If you’re reading this, you are probably into personal development, you want to be the best version of you and maybe you are in the game and you still might struggle with the many voices saying you need to do this, don’t do this and successful people do this… it can be a little bit overwhelming. So Where DO YOU Start? And more specifically, the question I want to answer here is which habits will change my life? Like seriously, which habits guarantee your life is going to change?
That’s a pretty loaded question but I am going to do my best to give you some nuggets that could help you process through that big question. First of all, YOUR HABITS will DETERMINE YOUR DESTINATION. I cannot remember who said it but there is this great quote: we are what we repeatedly do. And it is true. Your habits have the power in your life and what habits you integrate into your life are going to propel you or limit you. And WE ALL have habits by the way. Some of you have habits like sitting on the couch, eating chips, driving by the gym, yelling at people when you get angry… Some of you have habits of giving the wrong energy. I’m guilty of this, so I had to learn how to shift from frustration and anger to love because LOVE CHANGES EVERYTHING. It really doesn’t have to do so much with habits. Your love will change, not your anger, not your frustration. So live in love and make your relationships on a foundation of love because when you love people, it wins every single time.
Back to the habits, what if you had only one habit that has the power to change your life… But let me offer some suggestions along those lifes.
- Target your Habits
It’s the habit that you need. It’s not the habit that Tony Robbins has, it’s not Mel Robbins’ habit, it is not that habit that Gary V has that is going to bring that change that you need in your life. It’s the HABIT that YOU need to bring the change that you need in your life. When I say target your habits, I’m saying back up, reflect a little bit and say, WHERE DO I NEED TO EXPERIENCE TRANSFORMATION THE MOST IN MY LIFE? If you are low energy all the time, if you are always getting hurt… you might want to target something to do with your health, vitality and energy. If your relationships are creating stress in your life, you might want to do something in that area. And if your business is not going so well, you might want to target some habits that make you a better owner, a better leader, or something to help you walk into a different business. Maybe it is the area of your job and maybe creating a new habit about how you show up on a daily basis to the office. Or what if you target some habits about how you’re going to create a leadership habit.
Here’s a leadership habit we all could institute: Learn to listen more and it will change you as a leader for the better. But before I give you my wisdom from my vast years of experience (which you probably have), if you learn to listen more, you’re going to lead better.
I had a client the other day who had a situation with an employee. The employee did not handle himself well. There was a bit of an explosion but my client who could have easily matched the negative and angry energy just listened and took ownership of what he could. He also asked some really great questions to shift the conversation and that is power in leadership.
- Keystone Habits
I don’t know who coined the term but I read it in the book, The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. It is a great book by the way… and since I am listing some resources, here are a few more: Atomic Habits, The Compound Effect, and The One Thing. These are all really great books on establishing habits. The One Thing is great for establishing a Keystone habit that is going to have a ripple effect in every area of your life. So where do you need to create some ripple effect… this connects back to targeting it. What is the habit you need personally, don’t do what everyone else tells you to do or what they are doing.
Think about it, if you get healthier in the next 12 months, your life is going to be better. You’re going to have more energy, more clarity, better relationships, your career and business life will do better… so if you get healthier, that is going to have a ripple effect. Maybe it is to grow spiritually and you have some habits that help you to do so like praying more in the next 12 months. If you pray more and you get a deeper connection to God. And for me, that would have a ripple effect in every area of my life. It would create more peace.
- Success Leaves Clues
I know we started with targeting and personalizing habits that are going to change your life. But true success has already left clues. So think about the habits of the most successful people you know… In fact if there is an area that you’re going to target, look for somebody getting results in that area. For example, if you want your marriage to be the best it has ever been… LOOK for someone that has a great marriage and ask yourself, what are they doing that I don’t do? And that concept can be applied to any area of your life when creating habits.
Here are some of the habits that have left clues in successful lives that I have seen. The first one that had a major life changing impact on my life was integrating a morning routine everyday. I know I said it… check out the books The 5am Club and The Miracle Morning. I’m not saying that you have to wake up at 5am but I am saying that successful people take time at the beginning of the day to invest in themselves through their morning routine. I’m also not talking about just putting clothes on and brushing your teeth. I’m talking about WHAT YOU ARE DOING to build yourself up before you go out and give your greatness to the world. You have got to take care of yourself because you cannot pour from an empty vessel, so a morning routine that will fill you can change your day and change your life.
Look at the successful people around you, many of them talk about journaling. Maybe they call it something different but I started 15 years ago and it is “the one habit to rule them all,” I like to say. I’m telling you it is the big deal habit in my life because the best work God has done in my life happens in my journal; everything from visioning to processing limiting beliefs, prayer, processing leadership, reflecting on growth in my marriage, reflecting on my parenting… it all happens within the pages of my journals. And the number of successful people that journal is astronomical. YOU SHOULD DO IT. I have a 60 day challenge for journaling. If you want to know more about that, drop a comment. I’ll send it to you.
Other successful people diet and exercise, health is a priority. YOU NEED THAT. Then there are habits like meditation, prayer… these are habits that I do and they aid me in my spirituality and success. There are people that are happy, fulfilled that are using their voices to bring good to the world that are a force for good and a force for God… These are the kinds of people that I watch for the clues of success because I want to model my life after theirs. I don’t care how rich you are, if you are happy, then you’re truly rich. I’m okay with building wealth but I want people that are fulfilled and happy — success is not a number in your bank account or your net worth. Success is on the inside.
And the last two habits I will mention from successful people: they are mindful of who they have in their life, and who is in their close peer group: their community. And successful people tend to tap into coaching, personal development resources (books, podcasts, articles, whatever it might be). Tapping into the power of a community, whether it is a mastermind or coaching community… that is where successful individuals go when they want to go further and faster with the right group of people. Leveling up your peer group is a part of that habit where you get intentional about who you are around.
And I’ll let you in on an opportunity for community. We have got an amazing community of people where we do weekly coaching calls, three major coaching calls a week. I am on one of the calls pouring into people every single week… we are talking an hour and a half of just giving content and then doing Q&A, solving problems and having amazing guests in the hot seat. Drop a comment below or send us an email and get into community! Community is a habit, it is one that can change your life forever.
So target the habit that is going to change your life. Make sure it is a keystone habit that will have a ripple effect into other areas of your life. And then look around at the clues that other successful people have left while they are living the life that you want to live, having the impact, living with the joy and peace you want to have… follow their example.
Think about it, what is going to be the habit that you are going to lock in over the next 12 months. I’d love to hear it, drop it in the comments below, I’d love to celebrate it with you! Now go out there and give your greatness to the world because somebody needs what’s on the inside of you!!